Have you ever wondered why you are stuck switching between diets? Do you wish you could break free of the dieting cycle but you're not sure how? I've got you covered. I'm going to share with you 3 common reasons I see that keep women stuck in diet mentality and 3 ways to shift those thoughts so you can break free.

Diet mentality. It's easy to fall into this trap.

Here's a typical scenario. You desire to lose 15 pounds so you go on a diet that your friend recommended. It's trendy, it's popular and everyone seems to be doing it. You lose the 15 pounds following the plan. You make a resolve to stick with "the plan" as much as you possibly can.

But then... life happens. You go on vacation and overindulge in everything you weren't allowed to have on your diet plan. You come home and resolve to do better but it's so difficult to get back on track. Several months go by and you've now not only put back on the original 15  and an additional 5 more. You're now on the hunt for your next diet plan so you can lose the excess 20 pounds.

This is one example of diet mentality and having this mindset will keep you stuck in a yo-yo diet cycle. 



Diet mentality teaches you to label foods as good and bad. It teaches you to follow a list of rules that don't necessarily fit into your lifestyle. It teaches you that the only way to lose weight is to follow a strict diet plan. 

Freedom comes when you can break away from diet mentality, ditch the cycle of yo-yo dieting and really learn how to nourish your body the way it deserves. 

Here are 3 reasons you may still be stuck in diet mentality and 3 ways you can break free. 

 

You're stuck because you don't see food for what it is.

You have grown accustomed to labeling foods as good or bad. You might even be putting foods into a "cheat" category.  While it's true that certain foods provide more nourishment than others, it's best to break away from labeling. What happens when you do indulge in something on your "cheat" list -- feelings of guilt, shame and failure usually follow along. My question to you is, "Is this productive?" The short answer is no, it isn't. 

How to break free from this: See food for what it is. Food is the tool God gave you to nourish your body. Food isn't your enemy, it's not your friend, it's not your comforter. Food isn't inherently good or bad. When you learn to separate some of the emotion around food, which we all have, it's much easier to gain a sense of control over it.  I have previously talked about how to never cheat on your diet again. You can click here to check that out. 

Just to clarify, when I say food is not your comforter, I don't intend to imply that food is not comforting. In fact, just the opposite. Food can be quite comforting. The problem becomes when you create a reliance on food for a continual source of comfort. It will be well worth your time to find non food sources of comfort. A few I have found to be helpful are reading my Bible and spending time in prayer, exercise, go outside for a walk with my kids, or talk to a friend on the phone.

You're stuck because you are being overly restrictive around food.

When you put too many things in the no category, it may make them seem more enticing to you. Instead of thinking on what you can't have, think on what you can have.

How to break free from this: When I work privately with a woman who has a long history of yo-yo dieting, one thing we do at the beginning of our time together is to remove restrictions around food. Nothing is truly off the table, literally and figuratively. She can have anything she wants. However, I do teach her to ask herself a few questions before taking a bite of anything.

1. Am I actually hungry?

2. What I am hungry for?

3. Do I really want this?

What is often discovered is how often she might be eating something when she's not even hungry, she might be eating something she    doesn't even want simply to satisfy a social norm (think office gathering or a similar social situation). The other thing that usually comes            up is my client will realize she doesn't know how to answer the first question. She doesn't really know when she's feeling true hunger.                  This is all part of breaking away from diet mentality. It allows you to get in touch with your body's true hunger cues. Then you learn to                  honor that.

 

You're stuck because you're more focused on the numbers than on whole food nutrition.

While it's true that you need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight, I don't believe this means being overly obsessive with numbers. Sometimes counting calories or tracking macros can be helpful. It can help give you an idea of how much you're actually consuming. A lot of times we underestimate how much we are eating.

However, I view tracking as a temporary thing. When your diet plan becomes all about the numbers you just might end up consuming a lot of foods that aren't nourishing to your body.  Reminder, we're not labeling foods here as good or bad, but we are recognizing that certain foods provide the body proper nourishment and fuel while others provide little nutritional value and only satisfy a craving or desire. 

How to break free from this: Focus on giving your body lots of whole food nutrition. Shift the focus to eating real food, rather than items from a box. Two things will happen here. One, you will start to feel more energized, lighter and more satisfied. Focusing on whole food nutrition allows you to get more of the vitamins and nutrients you need. Not all packaged foods are bad per say, but next time you're in the grocery store, or maybe in your pantry in your house, turn a few boxes over and read the ingredient label. It may surprise you. The other thing that happens here is you will naturally start to crave the junk less. Remember, no foods are off the table. If you really want an Oreo you can have it. However, the more whole food nutrition you eat, the less tasty the Oreo will become. What I see happen with my clients, is they find they no longer crave the old foods. There are still no restrictions around it if they really want it they can go have it. But they want it less or not at all.

Diet mentality keeps you stuck. As long as you are in this state of mind, you will always be looking for the next great diet. Freedom comes when you learn to nourish your body well, honor your true hunger cues and make peace with food. The greatest book on the planet tells us

                                          What has been is what will be,
                                                     and what has been done is what will be done,
                                                                            and there is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9 

This is no less true in the world of dieting. Most trendy, fad diets are actually older diets that have been re-named. Don't fall for the hype. 

Links to other posts you may want to read

• How to Eat Well and Still Have a Life 

• Beyond Willpower - How to Succeed With Your Weight Loss Goals

• How to Never Cheat on Your Diet Again 

Everyone is choosing a "Word for the Year" -- everyone except me.

Here's why:

So much can change in your life in one month, one week or even one day, much more over the course of one whole year.

Some words I've seen chosen are: joy, trust, slow, rest, yes, brave, etc.  You get the idea.  The trend is to choose a word that represents the type of year you want, and then make decisions based off the word.

One major change in your life will sabotage everything, if it all rests on one word.


I plan my year for vacations, school schedules and big projects for my business, but for all the other things? Monthly.  My approach is more realistic, and healthier. Therefore, instead of adding stress when life goes crazy, I am able to adjust. Flexibility facilitates your wellness journey.

So often we view the month of January as setting the tone for the year. If we are successful with our health in January then we can assume we'll be successful for the rest of the year. I'm sorry but this is faulty thinking. First of all what if January is an incredibly challenging month for you financially, emotionally, or physically? What if you feel "unsuccessful" this month? Does that mean the rest of your year is shot? I sure hope not!


On the flip side of this, what if January is a highly successful month for you? You hit your fitness and nutrition goals you're on your way to your summer body and then reality hits and you find yourself back where you started. Does this mean you need to wait until next year to start over? Of course not! It would be silly to even think that. This is exactly why I enjoy the new year but I don't place too much pressure on myself to make the month of January "perfect."

A key element that is overlooked when it comes to New Year's goals is how to implement new habits to accomplish those goals. Goals are set with good intentions but, without a clear plan, it is likely you will fall short. This can leave you feeling like you failed. The remedy is to develop some new habits.

The greatest success I've seen with creating new habits is planning out and implementing one or two at a time. Focus on those few items and really perform them well for six weeks, at least. Then it will become an organic part of your day.  After that, add another new, healthy habit.

For example, let's say this year you want to implement a new exercise routine, cut out all processed foods, get 8 hours of sleep each night and implement a quiet time into your day for reflection. Wow I'm tired just writing all that! That's A LOT of pressure, and too much to handle all at any once.

The key is to choose one or two of these new habits, decide how you're going to implement it and then get to a point where it's second nature. Let's say you choose to focus on getting adequate sleep each night, but you're also eager to start working out. Determine what time you need to go to bed by to get the sleep you need. Then decide what you'll do to ensure that your head hits the pillow at the time and do those things.

To begin your new exercise routine start slowly. Plan to commit to 20 minutes a day to start. Work your way up from there. If you currently don't exercise at all, but set a goal to workout for one hour, 6 days a week, you'll probably revert back to your old ways.  It's just too much pressure on the body.  Will this take longer than implementing all the goals at once? No it will not, because it will work.

Whatever you do to inspire yourself for the new year I encourage you to remember this, one critical truth:

Taking care of your body is lifelong commitment.

Don't rely on a  quick fix, trendy diet or fad exercise program as your be all to end all. These things are never a miracle cure.

I encourage you to view good health as a way of life. Adopt that way now and stick with it forever. P.S.-- I am excited about improvements coming to my site. More than ever I'm passionate about helping women take charge of their health. I will help you quit dieting for good, and I've got just what you need for that.

Reader Feedback:  How do you view the new year? Do you feel a lot of pressure in the month of January to perfectly implement all your goals for the year? What would you like to see happen?
 

It's said that the average person gains 7 to 10 pounds between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

That's a significant amount of weight!

How accurate these numbers are, and whether this actually starts around Thanksgiving (I personally believe it to start in October with Halloween), the fact is the holidays can present a struggle.

As soon as the weather begins to turn cold our bodies begin to crave more nourishment. Unfortunately, our first thought is not of dark, leafy greens tossed in a vinaigrette. Warm, cozy, comfort foods are a more tempting choice and, during the holidays, they abound. That is not necessarily, however, a bad thing. There are plenty of delicious foods that are great options to eat over the winter.

The problem I've seen in my private coaching sessions are the number of events that surround the holidays: office parties, family gatherings, cookie exchanges . . . you get the idea.

The trouble all begins with the onslaught of your kid's Halloween candy that bag can be SO tempting!



As the holiday season comes to a close with Christmas and New Year's I'd like to share a few thoughts with you on how to manage the holidays.

• When an event, party or social gathering is on your calendar, NEVER show up hungry. This one drives me nuts because I hear women say it all the time, "I have a party tonight so I'm not going to eat all day so I can eat at the party." No, no, no! I'm not sure where this idea originated, but its faulty logic. The biggest problem I have with this approach is it doesn't facilitate steady blood sugar levels. Blood sugar levels control the hormone insulin. It's best to avoid large spikes and falls with our blood sugar levels. We want our blood sugar, and therefore our insulin levels, to have minimal rises and falls like small, steady waves. Not eating all day, only to go pig out at night, is setting you up for failure. You can't save your entire caloric intake for one meal.  You just can't and be healthy with a steady weight.

 

• If food is being served buffet-style, first peruse the selections and select what you really want to eat. A small sample of the menu items is okay, too. Eat a little of everything, and eat a whole lot of no one thing. I learned this trick from Bethenny Frankel who advocates, "No more dieting! I've had it!" She writes, Taste everything, eat nothing. Why shove a bunch of food into your face when you can taste small perfect bites of delicious food and stop before it ever gets ugly?  Naturally Thin, 2009.  While I don't agree with every point she makes in her book, I do agree with this school of thought. 

 

• If you have dietary restrictions don't veer off course just because you're at a party. If you're highly intolerant to gluten, then don't eat it just because you're in a social environment. Trust me, it's not worth it! Of foods you tolerate in moderation, make your decision before arriving how much you will eat. Use your head, and not your emotions. Do not get ambushed by temptation. That is another reason to not show up hungry.

 

• If you're hosting the event, anticipate the wishes of your guests. Have a gluten free/vegan option available. Serve healthy hors d'oeurves and a large green salad with a simple vinaigrette dressing, along with the classic favorites we all enjoy.

 

• ​​​​​​​Make time for exercise. Life is busy and it seems to get even busier around the holidays. Making time for exercise is so important there's no excuse not to. Schedule it on your calendar, and hold to it as an appointment with your healthy self.

 

• The key to making exercise stick is to find a program you love that gives you the results you're after. If you're new to exercise I highly recommend Leslie Sansone's walking program. Years ago I tried her out and dropped 18 pounds in about 2 months. I like her method because it's simple to use, there's no expensive equipment to buy and it's so easy on the joints. I currently do Tracy Anderson Method, and have for about the past 5 years. I love programs I can use at home. It makes it that much easier to get done. You don't have to join a gym, unless you want to of course! The point is:
  • Stick to it.
  • Make a commitment.
  • Find something you like.

 

• ​​​​​​​Allow adequate downtime -- don't over schedule. Lack of sleep and high stress levels have a profound effect on our health, and our weight.

If you've already gained some weight, please, don't beat yourself up over it; and don't go on some crazy juice cleanse to eliminate it. Be gentle with your body, and nourish it with delicious, whole food nutrition.


Struggling to get the weight off? Let me help you. I have 5 spaces available beginning in 2018 for my private coaching program. Those tend to fill up fast, so don't wait! I offer a complimentary 60 minute session to discover if we're a good fit to work together, one-on-one. Click here and let's get started.

Treadmill girl versus squats girl -- I had to laugh.

First of all, aren't we women supposed to empower one another? So why are we posting an image that implies one looks better,is more attractive than the other.? Which one is it? I'm not sure. Each has nice attributes, and one of the things that makes life interesting is not all of us look the same.

Second, I spent years faithfully following a traditional fitness mindset lifting weights (both heavy and light), cardio (including the treadmill) and an occasional yoga or pilates class. While I was certainly strong and had a lot of nice muscle, I still struggled with not being pleased with the way my body looked. The areas that I wanted to get smaller never seemed to, and the areas I wanted to "plump up" never got that way.



When I was in middle school my dad began taking me to our local YMCA. He taught me everything I know about lifting weights. I treasured our time together and to this day am so grateful to him that he did this for me. During this time, my level of confidence grew, I developed a lot of strength in my body and I got to bond with my dad. It was an all around "win win." One of the greatest gifts you can give a growing adolescent is teaching them how to properly care for their body, nutritionally and physically. This grew into my love for fitness that has stayed with me.
Years later, when my oldest daughter was about 2, we were stationed at Ft. Sill, Oklahoma. The gym on post didn't offer child care so I was mostly using my jogging stroller to run outside or doing at home exercise videos. Then I met a group of ladies who were doing a crossfit inspired workout and I was invited to join the group. This form of exercise pushed me to my limits and I developed a lot of strength in my body as well as muscle mass. However, I didn't look or feel balanced. It was the same old problem: the parts of my body that I felt were too big were getting bigger. And the parts I wanted to accentuate (namely my small bottom) continued to look smaller. Probably because my upper body kept getting so much bigger!

I didn't realize what was happening until my family went on a summer beach trip. Later, looking at photos, I didn't like what I saw of myself in my bathing suit. How frustrating! Here I was putting in all this effort at the gym and not feeling pleased with the results.

It wasn't until I completely changed the way I thought about exercise that my body really began to change shape and I discovered I did have some level of control over the way I look. One day I accidentally stumbled across a short clip of a Tracy Anderson workout. My first thought was, "Her form is all wrong." Her method of exercise was very different, and even a little bizarre looking. However, I couldn't deny that I was intrigued.

I found her YouTube videos of a 17 minute butt and legs segment. I figured why not? I got down on all fours and began following along. Even with my then high-level of fitness and strong cardio health Tracy's workout challenged me in ways I never thought possible. I felt muscles working that I didn't know existed. I ordered Tracy's program. After 4 years later Tracy's method has changed my body in the positive ways I had never been able to achieve. I have found, too, that her method strengthened my mind-body connection. I feel more balanced overall.

Treadmill or squat -- I'm not going to suggest which you should be. You have to decide that. The point is, if you are diligently working out, and you're feeding your body with whole food nutrition, and you're still not seeing results you want, then try Tracy Anderson's workout.


For me the treadmill wasn't the answer. Squats weren't the answer. I found my answer when I changed the way I thought about exercise in general and took an entirely different approach.

For the record, both Barbies in this graphic are beautiful please stop body shaming.


Note: I do not receive any compensation from Tracy Anderson products, nor have I been compensated by her or anyone else for this blog. This is a testimonial, pure and simple. Tracy Anderson is a copyrighted name and registered trademark.

"Do you have some news you'd like to share?" she asked.

"Everything's going well," I replied, "if that's what you mean, but there really isn't anything new happening."

Then she said, "I thought you were pregnant." Oh boy! No I was not pregnant and I didn't realize I looked pregnant!

I'll never forget that moment. It was a turning point, truly life changing. Our conversation continued on, only to get worse and actually quite degrading. As if being told you look pregnant, when in fact you are not, isn't painful enough, she went on to outright call me fat while squeezing my "fat" arm to emphasize her point.

This was agonizing for two reasons.

1. Nobody wants to be told they are fat.
2. The person who told me this was someone I was very close to, admired and held in high esteem. I met her when I was around 10 years old and had adored her ever since.

In the year or so leading up to this event, my life had become hectic. I got married. My husband was active duty military and was TDY at Ft. Bliss, TX for training. I stayed behind at my parents' home in NC to finish another semester of college. I was also working a demanding sales job to help make ends meet. While I certainly enjoyed my school work and my current career there was little time in my life for exercise and eating well. In all honesty, I had gained weight. My formerly slim and trim self, morphed into a woman who was tired, stressed and 30 pounds heavier than she should have been.

While I don't agree with the way my beloved friend approached me on the subject, I am grateful that it happened. It was heartbreaking in the moment but it opened my eyes to the truth. Having felt such emotional pain from this incident I decided right then and there (okay, actually I cried on my Mother's shoulders for a few hours and then decided) to turn my life around. I made up in my mind that NO ONE would ever call me fat again.



I began to set my alarm clock an hour earlier so I could get up and power walk each morning. At that point we had moved to a light infantry post, Ft. Drum, NY. Most mornings 0500 (5 a.m.) were filled with hundreds of soldiers "ruck" marching the loop where I was walking. I felt I had lots of company. In a matter of a few months I shed the excess weight and was feeling wonderful. No one has ever called me fat since then.

I share this story because it was life changing. When that distressing conversation occurred I had a choice: wallow in self-pity and continue down the path of treating my body poorly, or make a deliberate change to turn things around.

What about you? Are you at a crossroads in your life? Are you at a place where you are tired of feeling uncomfortable in your own skin? Are you ready to look and feel your best?