Fearing the Unknown



Sometimes the last thing we want to do turns out to be one of the greatest adventures of our lives.

My husband called me from Afghanistan.
"Do you want the good news or the bad news?" he said.
"The good news first."
"I've been offered a position as Instructor."
I am so proud! Being an Instructor is a great position that would only help advance my husband's Army career.
I hold my breath for a beat. "Okay, what's the bad news?"
"The position is in Ft. Sill, Oklahoma."

Now up to this point in our Army career I had only ever heard negative things about Ft. Sill. One woman even went so far as to call it "the armpit of the Army". I really didn't want to go. I had never been to Oklahoma and it certainly wasn't on my bucket list. After all, what was even in Oklahoma? All I could picture were large, open fields and tornadoes.

As it turned out I could not have been more wrong. Yes, there were a lot of open fields and even a few tornadoes but there was also so much more.

Oklahoma turned out to be one of the greatest adventures of my life. My marriage was made stronger. I made wonderful, lifelong friends and I saw some of the most beautiful country. Even my oldest daughter, who was only 1-year-old when we moved out west, still talks about our time together in that lovely state. The day we moved from Ft. Sill tears streamed down my face as I drove away.

Life is like this, isn't it? So often we are afraid to try something because we've heard rumors of how awful it is or we simply fear it because it's new and unfamiliar territory.

Our health and wellness journey can be much the same way. We are creatures of habit and venturing into new territory is scary. For someone who mostly shops the "center aisles" of the grocery store, spending a bit more time in the produce section might be intimidating. The thought of introducing a new vegetable into our diet can be uncomfortable to think about.

What if I don't like it? Or worse, what if I buy it and then have no idea how to prepare it? These thoughts and emotions are real and I certainly relate to them. It wasn't so long ago that I was in this place myself.

I am an advocate for making small changes and I always meet my clients at the point they are at in their journey. Some are ready to make big leaps and others only want to make small changes. Both are okay and both are steps in the right direction.

If you are ready to make some positive, life giving changes in your health and wellness journey I'd be honored to be your coach and cheerleader!

After all, sometimes you just have to get in the vehicle, point the car west and drive. Who knows what you'll discover along the way!

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Posted in Wellness.

Don’t Call Me Fat!


"Do you have some news you'd like to share?" she asked.

"Everything's going well," I replied, "if that's what you mean, but there really isn't anything new happening."

Then she said, "I thought you were pregnant." Oh boy! No I was not pregnant and I didn't realize I looked pregnant!

I'll never forget that moment. It was a turning point, truly life changing. Our conversation continued on, only to get worse and actually quite degrading. As if being told you look pregnant, when in fact you are not, isn't painful enough, she went on to outright call me fat while squeezing my "fat" arm to emphasize her point.

This was agonizing for two reasons.
  1. Nobody wants to be told they are fat.
  2. The person who told me this was someone I was very close to, admired and held in high esteem. I met her when I was around 10 years old and had adored her ever since.
Being called fat
In the year or so leading up to this event, my life had become hectic. I got married. My husband was active duty military and was TDY at Ft. Bliss, TX for training. I stayed behind at my parents' home in NC to finish another semester of college. I was also working a demanding sales job to help make ends meet. While I certainly enjoyed my school work and my current career there was little time in my life for exercise and eating well. In all honesty, I had gained weight. My formerly slim and trim self, morphed into a woman who was tired, stressed and 30 pounds heavier than she should have been.

While I don't agree with the way my beloved friend approached me on the subject, I am grateful that it happened. It was heartbreaking in the moment but it opened my eyes to the truth. Having felt such emotional pain from this incident I decided right then and there (okay, actually I cried on my Mother's shoulders for a few hours and then decided) to turn my life around. I made up in my mind that NO ONE would ever call me fat again.



I began to set my alarm clock an hour earlier so I could get up and power walk each morning. At that point we had moved to a light infantry post, Ft. Drum, NY. Most mornings 0500 (5 a.m.) were filled with hundreds of soldiers "ruck" marching the loop where I was walking. I felt I had lots of company. In a matter of a few months I shed the excess weight and was feeling wonderful. No one has ever called me fat since then.

I share this story because it was life changing. When that distressing conversation occurred I had a choice: wallow in self-pity and continue down the path of treating my body poorly, or make a deliberate change to turn things around.

What about you? Are you at a crossroads in your life? Are you at a place where you are tired of feeling uncomfortable in your own skin? Are you ready to look and feel your best?

 

Posted in Nutrition, Wellness. Tagged as don't call me fat, health and wellness, weight loss.

Grief and Wellness

I firmly believe that experiencing a traumatic event can bring to light health issues that have been lying beneath the surface of our skin. I know for myself, my state of health was made very well known to me after my Mother passed. My formerly clear skin, broke out into an angry aggression of cystic acne.

It's July and today I received a flyer in the mail from Joann's fabric. The header claims "Craftsmas in July" sale. Feelings of anxiety and grief flood my mind and tears come to my eyes. It's only July and already I have to be preparing for how to deal with emotions come Christmas time.

Grief was the big ticket that led me to my journey of nutrition and healing my body. I lost my Mother quickly and painfully and was left with a myriad of emotions I had to wade through. There was no jumping over it or going around it. I had to tackle it head on. Since my husband was being medically retired from the military and we had just transferred to our new duty station where I had yet to make a friend, I was stuck dealing with my grief on my own. It wasn't pleasant, but it did allow me the opportunity to learn a lot about myself and about how the body and mind heal.

Grief is easier to deal with when things are busy. Daily routines and structure provided me a safe shelter from having to face my feelings. Homeschooling my young girls, preparing meals for my family and keeping up with housework kept my mind occupied. In fact, the simplest time of my Mother's death was surrounding the memorial service and the days following. People were everywhere. Dropping by the house, bringing food. It was a sweet intermission for me so that I didn't have to face my new reality. I could talk with friends, share memories, and have a bite to eat all the while delaying the fate of my new reality.

I was surviving okay. I sobbed in my moments alone, but the structure of life kept me going. Then the holidays came. Thanksgiving and Christmas, especially, force everyone and everything to stop. Time seems to stand still. There is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. I was forced to face my new reality. I was forced to recognize that my future with my Mother no longer existed. She was now only a beautiful memory and someone I will one day be reunited with in Heaven.

A large part of health and wellness isn't only the foods we eat, but also our emotional, mental and spiritual state. This can be frustrating because oftentimes it is easier to change what we eat than it is to face where we are emotionally.

If you are currently in a state of emotional trauma, stress or grievance I am here to encourage you and uplift you. Allow yourself time to go through these changes. Recognize any health concerns that have shown themselves to you during this time and realize that they may take a long time to heal. One lesson my experience has taught me is that sometimes you have to create a "new normal". This realization helped me heal so much. I still miss my Mother dearly and the thought of facing Christmas again without her here is very difficult. However, I realize that I must not expect things to be the way they were when she was alive. I must create a new normal, a new pattern, a new tradition. Treasuring each moment with my family I still have on this earth and looking forward to the day when once again I see my Mother's face.

Posted in Wellness.